Still Too Many - 12 Days of Christmas

Have you ever studied Judges?  I certainly hadn't... until 6 weeks ago.  Our youth group (that I've technically graduated out of but the college & career group scares me so here I stay) started a new group study.  On Judges.  Which I was equal parts wary of and excited for.  I mean, Judges doesn't have the greatest reputation.  It's the R-rated book of the Bible, the one we skim over other than picking out the best stories.  It's the one that has the story about Ehud, who stabbed a fat king, and Jael, who drove a tent spike through her enemy's skull.  Yeah, not exactly something we learned about in Sunday School as a kid.

And you're probably thinking, "Abby, why in the world are you talking about Judges in a 12DoC post?" 

(I don't blame you, I had to work my brain to figure out a connection, but boy howdy, I think God gave me a good one.)

Today, we're going to be talking about Gideon.  One of the few Judges stories I learned about as a kid.  Though, to be honest, I'm still unsure of how his story ends because we're taking a break from the study for Christmas and I haven't read ahead because I'm nervous - I'm pretty sure it ends badly, and I'm sad already.  But anyway. 

Gideon.  We tend to think of him through the lens of judge.  The warrior, the conqueror, the faithful.  But this guy was a coward. 

When we first encounter him in Judges, he's threshing wheat (or attempting to thresh wheat) in a wine press.  That's not really a great way to thresh wheat.  But he's down there because he's afraid of the Midianites, scared they'll take the grain he's trying to get.  And God sends an angel to him who says "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior."

Now, we might look at this situation much like Gideon did.  "Uh, I'm sorry?"  Glancing over his shoulder as if there could be anyone else hiding threshing wheat in this wine press.  Seriously, Gideon's response is "the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to Midian." Meaning, "if God's calling me a mighty warrior, why am I so scared of the Midianites that I'm trying to thresh wheat in a wine press?" 

"Why is He just now coming to save us?"

"And, more importantly, why is He choosing me?"

And God just says, "Go in the strength you have and deliver Israel from the hand of Midian.  Am I not sending you?"

oh. snap.

(Anybody else reminded of Moses?)

And Gideon, like the little introvert he is, raises his hand and says, "Uh, God?  Yeah, uh, I'm just the youngest son from the weakest family in the weakest tribe... are you sure you have the right address?"

God, in His infinite patience, repeats His point - "I will be with you.  You will strike down Midian as if it were one man."

I mean... what a promise!  "Stop worrying, I've got this."

"Be still and know that I am God."

To make a long story short, it takes a lot of coaxing and quite a few miracles, but eventually Gideon goes.  He gathers what troops he can scrounge up and rallies them to prepare for battle.  30,000 men.  Not great odds against the 100,000-strong Midianite army.  That's 3-on-1, if they even make it that far.

And God says, "No, it's too many men.  Send some home."

Too many men?  Gideon's probably really confused.  "God, you know we're going up against one of the most powerful armies around, right?"

God's point in this is that if there are this many men who win the battle (that He's already given over to them, remember), they'll claim it was their own strength that saved them.  Even though that couldn't possibly be the case.  But man, we humans are masters of justifying things to ourselves.  They would take God out of picture entirely and take credit for their own salvation by saying that they were good enough on their own... sound familiar?

Anyway, Gideon sends two-thirds of the men home.  Now he's working with 10,000 and says to himself in a mildly panicked voice, "We can still do this... no problem... everything's totally fine."

And you know what God says?

Still too many.

"Still too many?  Now it's 10-on-1 and we're not trained to fight a professional army!"
- Gideon, probably

But he does what God asks, and ends up with 300 men.  Three. Hundred.  And then what's even more insane: they go to battle with a torch covered by a pot in one hand and a trumpet in the other.  Does that seem to leave any room for a sword-holding hand?

What is God doing?  This seems crazy by our human standards - no one goes up against 100,000 men with 300, especially without weapons.  But this isn't based on our standards (that's kind of the point).

God is setting up for a miracle. And of course, because He's God, it works.  The Israelites smash the pots and wave the flames and blow the trumpets, the Midianites freak out, thinking an army is surrounding them, and start to run, which turns into killing each other.  And this, God (through the Israelites) wins a battle with Midian without lifting a weapon against them.

Now, this has all been well and good, but I'm sure you're wondering: "Okay, Abby, great story... but what about Christmas?"

Well... don't you see the parallel?

I don't know about you, but the holidays are when I get the most stressed.  I do so much (or I try to, at least).  Between the parties and the church events and the presents and this blog and YouTube... it's a lot.  I'm sure you have the same struggle.

Yesterday, we started the final set up for our annual church's live nativity.  And guess what happened?  It rained.  Off and on, for the whole day.

It's hard to set scenes up when it's raining, let me tell you.  And the crew was getting a little frustrated.  Things have seemed to be going wrong the whole time - the animals weren't confirmed, the wind tore down some of the flats and scaffolding, and everything was falling apart despite our best efforts to keep it together.  Everyone was on edge because we didn't know why everything was going wrong.

And I heard a voice in my head say, "Still too many."  Shivers ran down my spine, y'all.  Because this phrase has been running through my mind for weeks now while I tried to piece together.  And here it was in front of me, laid out plain as day.  We were trying to do it in our own strength.

Obviously, you can't just drop everything and not move and expect God to miraculously make it happen.  You do have to keep striving to do the best you can do, but then you have to give God the rest. 

And hey, if you're getting overwhelmed, take a step back.  God didn't shove Gideon in unprepared or unproven.  He gave Gideon time to see His goodness and go into battle completely sure of God's faithfulness.  That's the beautiful message that keeps coming up in the Bible: God will fight for us and with us.

Ultimately, we can do nothing in our own strength, and that's what God was showing Gideon.  We have to be humble enough, small enough, to leave room for God to work. 

Hopefully this came across like I wanted it to.  Putting something in words that is so close to one's heart is hard.  And to be honest, it took a completely different turn than I assumed it would.  God's good like that, isn't He?  My hope in this is that you'll see that you don't have to struggle your way through this holiday season, you have a Righteous Avenger who fights for you.  *sends you all hugs and hot cocoa with extra marshmallows*

What's something that God's been showing you lately?

~ Abby

(Oh, and be sure to check out all the awesome 12DoC posts today!  Who else is having as much fun with this blog party as I am?)

When It's Too Much

Lately, I've been tired. 

Just plain exhausted.

Physically, emotionally, let's just say that Sleeping Beauty's situation of sleeping for a hundred years sounds pretty fantastic. 

My sister is injured, my brother is going through his "I'm a teenager so I know better than Mom does" phase (and my big sister self is trying to keep him out of trouble), Mom is going through a lot, and my health still isn't great. 

It's a lot, you know?

For 8 weeks now, my Sunday School class has been doing a study on 1&2 Thessalonians.  It's been fascinating and so insightful.  It's one of those curriculums that has the main Sunday lesson and then daily studies for the rest of the week.  (those are super helpful in getting into a schedule of reading your Bible, I highly recommend them)

So the other night, as I was thinking about how tired I was, I decided to do the daily reading (which I usually do at night because it helps me sleep).  And this was the verse it studied:

And that's when it hit me:  That's my problem!  I've grown weary in doing good!

As many of you are aware, I'm sure, Easter is quickly approaching.  And like the brilliant person I am (sarcasm here, folks), I'm involved in a whole lot of stuff surrounding our church's Easter musical program.  I'm in the praise team, I'm in both the youth and women's ensemble, my sister and I are dancing in the finale number, I'm helping Mom with the stage settings and the cues and the video and it's a lot.  

Add to that stresses about school (like college and the question of whether I should be doing college now and if so where), about health (and whether or not I'm actually doing as well as I think I am), about dance (and the recitals and competitions that are rapidly approaching), about writing and about reading and about reviewing the things I read and the bajillion other things I have to do. 

It's a lot. 

None of it is necessarily bad.  I'm shining His light everywhere I can, I'm waiting for His voice on the things I can't control and don't have an answer for.  I'm leading others in worship, I'm praising Him with all I'm worth, and I know God has put me in this place at this time. 

But that doesn't mean I can't be tired.  The Bible is chock full of people who got tired, who grew weary under the weight of living in this world. 

One I've been thinking about a lot lately is David.  As y'all may know from my recent post, I've been reading through the Psalms, and the same night I came across that Thessalonians verse, I came across this:

That last part made me cry, because I realized that I wanted it.

I want the joy of salvation restored to me.  I want a willing spirit.

I want to remember what I'm doing it all for. 

So Psalm 51:12 is my prayer for when it's too much.  For when I'm weary in doing good.  For when my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak.

And I'd like to pray that prayer over all of you, too.  That you find the joy of salvation, and if/when you do grow weary in doing good, you'll go back to the rock that is higher.  <3

~ Abby

Thoughts on the Psalms {part 1}

Moment of honesty here - I've been really bad at reading my Bible.  I can recite a ton of verses and know exactly where a good majority of them are, I can win a "get to this book fastest" contest easily, and Sunday School studies aren't a problem for me.  But on the whole, for most of my Christian walk, the amount of time I spend with just my Bible and a notebook is sad.

I'm working to rectify that situation.

Thus, at the beginning of February, I started reading the Psalms.  I've never read it through straight, and I'll admit that I haven't opened it every day, but I'm almost 40 chapters in, and I'm loving it.  I got a new notebook for Christmas, and I'm steadily filling it with the promises I'm finding.  So I thought that today, I would share some of these discoveries with you.  Because who can't use some comfort in this crazy world?

{tiny note here, all of these verses are from the HSCB translation, in case you wondered}

As Sarah pointed out recently, we're tiny.  We're so small.  

Minuscule, in comparison to the vastness of the universe.  

And yet, He loves us.  Somehow, He loves us.

"He has treated me generously".  I love that line.

Some of my favorite names for God are found in this verse.  

They portray such a picture of strength, of foundation, of safety. It's beautiful.

This one goes hand in hand with the last one.

We have no reason to fear.

We have the creator of the universe on our side.

This is just amazing to me.

He's seen the affliction, He knows the troubles,

and He's held me through it all.

Obviously, I'm going to find more beautiful things in this book.

Thus why I named this "part 1".

There will likely be more parts to come.

But for now, hold fast to these promises, and maybe consider the Psalms next time you're deciding which book of the Bible to read. :)

~ Abby