The Mercy in the Madness

My life has been absolutely insane recently.  I'm partially writing this as an excuse for where I've gone.  Sorry.

Last week, we had to put our dog down.  It was very dramatic, and could not have come at a worse time.  This past weekend, we went to Fort Myers and performed for our first paid dancing job.  And now, we've been in Georgia for 3 days, helping my Grandma move.

All this to reiterate - I've been living in complete madness.

Last night, I was asking God, "Why would you let all of this happen to us, right now?"  I've been going through health issues, my grandparents are deteriorating, I don't have a job and I don't know what I want to go to college for.  All of which people are asking me about constantly and I don't have answers.

I was focusing on everything that was wrong.

But then I heard Him whisper, "Abby, if you focus on what's wrong, you're going to drown in all the reasons you aren't okay.  So stop looking at that.  Look at me."

And then He gave me this title:

Here's the thing: It's so easy to ask why.  Why is this happening?  Why to me?  Why now? 

Why so much?

Maybe it's simply because, as Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." {Mark 2:17}

Unless you admit you need help, it's impossible to get it.

The same goes for God.

So maybe that's why it all seems to happen at once.  Because I will tell you this: I have been closer to God in this storm than I was in the calm.  I can tell.  It just feels different.

My situation has come to the point where I have to say "I trust that He's got it" and keep going.  I can't sit and dwell, or I won't move.  There's no way I can handle everything by myself.

And it's only when I let go that I can be held.

No one can hold your hand if your hand is full.  You can't put new books on your bookshelf until you've removed some of the old ones.  It's scary to change, but you have to change to move forward.

You have to release your hold on the cliff's edge before God can catch you.

So this is the mercy in the madness: that even though I'm floundering and trying to do it myself, I can't.  And that realization forces my eyes away from the problem and onto the One who can fix it.


{Have you ever seen the mercy in the madness?  Where have you seen God in your life this week?}

~ Abby