When It's Too Much

Lately, I've been tired. 

Just plain exhausted.

Physically, emotionally, let's just say that Sleeping Beauty's situation of sleeping for a hundred years sounds pretty fantastic. 

My sister is injured, my brother is going through his "I'm a teenager so I know better than Mom does" phase (and my big sister self is trying to keep him out of trouble), Mom is going through a lot, and my health still isn't great. 

It's a lot, you know?

For 8 weeks now, my Sunday School class has been doing a study on 1&2 Thessalonians.  It's been fascinating and so insightful.  It's one of those curriculums that has the main Sunday lesson and then daily studies for the rest of the week.  (those are super helpful in getting into a schedule of reading your Bible, I highly recommend them)

So the other night, as I was thinking about how tired I was, I decided to do the daily reading (which I usually do at night because it helps me sleep).  And this was the verse it studied:

And that's when it hit me:  That's my problem!  I've grown weary in doing good!

As many of you are aware, I'm sure, Easter is quickly approaching.  And like the brilliant person I am (sarcasm here, folks), I'm involved in a whole lot of stuff surrounding our church's Easter musical program.  I'm in the praise team, I'm in both the youth and women's ensemble, my sister and I are dancing in the finale number, I'm helping Mom with the stage settings and the cues and the video and it's a lot.  

Add to that stresses about school (like college and the question of whether I should be doing college now and if so where), about health (and whether or not I'm actually doing as well as I think I am), about dance (and the recitals and competitions that are rapidly approaching), about writing and about reading and about reviewing the things I read and the bajillion other things I have to do. 

It's a lot. 

None of it is necessarily bad.  I'm shining His light everywhere I can, I'm waiting for His voice on the things I can't control and don't have an answer for.  I'm leading others in worship, I'm praising Him with all I'm worth, and I know God has put me in this place at this time. 

But that doesn't mean I can't be tired.  The Bible is chock full of people who got tired, who grew weary under the weight of living in this world. 

One I've been thinking about a lot lately is David.  As y'all may know from my recent post, I've been reading through the Psalms, and the same night I came across that Thessalonians verse, I came across this:

That last part made me cry, because I realized that I wanted it.

I want the joy of salvation restored to me.  I want a willing spirit.

I want to remember what I'm doing it all for. 

So Psalm 51:12 is my prayer for when it's too much.  For when I'm weary in doing good.  For when my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak.

And I'd like to pray that prayer over all of you, too.  That you find the joy of salvation, and if/when you do grow weary in doing good, you'll go back to the rock that is higher.  <3

~ Abby