Ever since November 18th of 2015, things have been different from anything I've experienced before.
On November 18th, my uncle was found dead in his apartment.
(a terrible-quality pic of him holding me on the day I was born)
He was my mother's only sibling, and while he hadn't been in the best of health, his death came as a shock. It was the week before Thanksgiving, when he was supposed to join us. The funeral was the first where my siblings and I had been in the front row, as we normally helped in the sound booth with audio-visual things. It was one of the hardest things I've had to go through.
The following January, we headed to Tennessee, partially for vacation, partially to scatter my uncle's ashes, and partially to visit Mom's step-mother. Grandma Brittie had gotten the diagnoses of terminal cancer a few weeks before my uncle passed away. We really got to know her heart in those few days, and she was one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known.
Our uncle was placed along a memorial wall, overlooking a breathtaking mountain view, on the campus of the college where he devoted most of his life. A small inscription was on the wall:
As a wizard with a wand, he lit up even the beyond.
Never needing use his guile, he did it simply with a smile.
(although it was written about a woman on the original)In February, we heard the news that Grandma Brittie had lost the fight.
That funeral, we were unable to attend. But our hearts were there, with her friends. We were her only family.
The next few months passed quietly, but with coming anticipation. We were scheduled to take a vacation in April to visit Colonial Williamsburg and then go on to Washington D.C. Dad had wanted to take us to D.C. for as long as I could remember, and Williamsburg was to be an early birthday present for me, as it was one of my favorite places.
On the 5th of April, we set out. On the 7th, we went to Busch Gardens. On the 8th, my life changed forever.
On the 8th, my daddy went to be with Jesus.
We were headed down to the historic district when he collapsed in front of my brother from a severe heart attack, was taken to multiple hospitals, and after several hours he went to be with his Savior.
Was it the worst day of my life? Yes. It absolutely was.
Was his funeral the second worst day of my life? Of course.
But here's the thing: my faith has become stronger than ever.
Daddy was the associate pastor at our church; had been for almost 20 years. He'd been attending since he was a teenager, gone to seminary, and found that God had called him back to the church he'd left. Turned out that he would play a very important role when the church went through a split a few years later, and he really held everything together. We came to jokingly refer to him as the "minister of everything else", as his responsibilities eventually included everything from drama/media (his initial calling) to senior adults to education to music leader when our music minister passed away in 2014.
And Daddy was worried.
The church, he felt, was growing stagnant. Not much growth was going on, and everyone seemed to be going through the motions. Little things were driving wedges between people, and the church was divided about the hunt for a new music minister. Daddy told me a few times that he thought he might be the problem. Mom told me later that they had been praying, "Lord, if we're supposed to go, just tell us." She also said, "We didn't think that this was what He had in mind."
I personally, and we as a family, know without a doubt that Daddy's death was in God's plan, because if it did anything, it united the church to common goals. Helping us. Finding a music minister. Pulling off VBS. Making sure we could function.
Yes, there's a gaping hole. One that probably will never go away. Yes, Social Security is a beast that I don't recommend ever having to deal with if you can help it. But the miracles we've seen and experienced let me know God's still in this. His power is stronger than ever.
On the other side, I can look back and see the way He was laying the groundwork to keep us afloat. My uncle's passing got us financially stable. We're out of debt, and some money has been put aside for college (which is quickly approaching... but that's another post). Grandma Brittie's passing made me look deeper into my faith, hoping for the flame I saw in her. It got me closer to Him before we ever left for Virginia, which made it easier to fall into His arms. Both of those events brought our family together, and inspired us to spend every second we could as a unit, seconds we now cherish.
It's been a year. The world spins on. Sometimes I wish it would slow down, but it doesn't. I still have high school to deal with. I've stepped into the praise team, trying to fill the gap Daddy left behind, and our new music minister has us running full steam ahead. Every day I get one day closer to seeing my uncle and Grandma Brittie and Daddy again. Only God knows when that will be, but I'm ready.
As Jennifer Donnelly so beautifully put it in Lost in a Book, "Life ends. But love? Love lives forever."
I leave you with one of Daddy's favorite songs, from the movie Joseph: King of Dreams. It's helped me get through these past few months.
God's still in this, y'all. Never doubt that.
~ Abby
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